Does it Bother You? Confronting the Tide of Femicide.

Does it get to you? Yes, you! I'm talking to you—the one skimming through my words, pretending they’re just noise. Don’t act like you don’t hear me; I know my voice is coming through loud and clear. I may not have it all, but my words, my two cents? They’re worth more than a passing glance. Because here’s the thing: these thoughts, these ‘big little words’ of mine. Reflecting a world we’re both part of, challenges we’re both ignoring, truths we’re both too busy to see. So, go ahead. Pause. Take a breath. Pay attention, because sometimes the quietest voices have the most to say.

You see, the strangest stories often begin where you least expect them. At the edge of the cliff, is where this one starts. Today, my fear of heights does not restrain me from scaling the cliffs of my most vulnerable, dark, heart-wrenching thoughts. And there, I find myself asking: In whose hands are our mothers, sisters and, daughters safe?

97 cases in 90 days! Over the past few months, media outlets have been refreshing their feed, bombarding us with stories of femicide. And this takes me back to the dark alleys of my mind, to the start of the year where things took a dark turn almost immediately. Remember when Airbnb was on the lips of every Kenyan; not because of their stellar services but because some people decided to use those spaces not for pleasure but for pain and torture, transforming them into horrific scenes?

Does it bother you that our mothers, aunts, and daughters are being brutally stabbed, their bodies dismembered, and their remains discarded carelessly? I mean, what happened to standards, what happened to basic decency, what happened to the respect of human life? What disturbs me the most is that some people, particularly men, justify these acts by throwing out dismissive remarks like, “What femicide was she doing in that Airbnb alone? Shida yake.” Have we really lowered our standards that far? Why do we point fingers at the victims while the perpetrators are at large? 

Does it bother you that femicide cases have become so alarmingly frequent that they pose an existential risk to the lives of a girl child’s life? When your friends use statements like “huyo msichana na weza mpiga…” When you start blaming the victim… Don’t you realize that an injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere? I am deeply vexed by the behaviour of some men in our society. Just recently, even more disturbing and cringe-worthy news broke of a heinous act of femicide in Eastleigh.

Does it bother you that all this is happening and you are remaining silent? What is the point of having a voice if you are going to be silent? It’s time for us women, to make our voices heard because unity is strength. And to our dear men, we need you in this fight too. Beating, killing, and abusing a woman doesn’t make you more of a man; it makes you less. What happened to confronting someone your own size? 

Men and boys! Women and girls, in all your diversities! I’m speaking to you!  It’s high time we held each other accountable. With the clock ticking, and the world has committed to achieving the Sustainable Development Goals, including the eradication of VAWG, this year’s theme for the 16 days of activism against GBV is, “Towards Beijing +30: UNiTE to End Violence Against Women and Girls.” When you see something, say something. Remember, if it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, barks like a dog, and pants like a dog, then it’s a dog. For me, I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I am asking him to change his ways. 

I hope it bothers you now. Does it?

By Emily Kyalo

RHNK Youth Advocate.